Overcoming the Pressure of Perfectionism

Do you consider yourself to be a goal-oriented, success-driven individual who strives to do all that you can with a spirit of excellence? Do you work tirelessly until the job is done? Do you constantly look for ways to improve your life and the lives of those around you? Such people are usually entrusted with a wide range of responsibilities because they have proven themselves to be reliable, efficient, and highly motivated “go-getters.” Their virtuous efforts are not only commendable, but they are also needed for the progress and advancement of society, businesses, homes, and ministries.

Overachievers, though typically good at everything they do, can live with the overbearing pressure of never being “good enough.” It is called perfectionism. It is the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable, and in many cases, even deemed as a failure. Perfectionists are idealistic. They view life as how it ought to be and never really enjoy life as it is. Their self-worth is determined more by what they do than who they are. With a fear of failure, they enforce rigid rules and unrealistic expectations on themselves and others until everything is exactly how they think it ought to be.

Self-Imposed Perfectionism

There are three main facets of perfectionism, the first being self-imposed. Many perfectionists embrace impractical standards for themselves that cannot be maintained at a healthy level. They wrongly believe that their acceptance is only made possible through error-free, unblemished living. Perfectionists oftentimes live with low self-esteem and therefore constantly find ways to be accepted.

Others-Oriented Perfectionism

Perfectionists not only impose perfection on themselves, but they can also do it to others, or as sociologists call it “others-oriented perfectionism.” This is the idea that people are only valuable to you if they live up to your expectations. When they fail to do so, the relationship becomes strained, the atmosphere becomes tense, and the outcome obviously becomes less than perfect.

Social-Oriented Perfectionism

The final facet of perfectionism is known as “social-oriented.” This is the idea that society, no matter what context, is continually judging your performance; therefore, you must be perfect so that you can be a valuable contributor of your culture. The problem with such an outlook is that the demand of performance can change from day to day in various areas of life; a perfectionist’s value, therefore, can fluctuate with the temperament of their culture.

No matter what facet of perfectionism one may struggle with, the remedy is the same: There is only one God, and you are not Him.

God does not demand perfection from us in the flesh. No man can boast of his or her works in the presence of God. Our very best attempts of righteousness reeks to the high heavens in the nostrils of His holiness. Rather, He invites us to follow His Son, Who is perfect in every conceivable way. This is the only way we can “be ye perfect, even as your father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Apart from our position in Jesus Christ, perfection is unobtainable. Therefore, faith in Christ alone relieves us from the unrealistic challenges of perfectionism. We are complete in Him, and thereby completely perfect.  We are complete in His atoning work, complete in divine fellowship, complete in holy communion, complete in His indwelling power. When we learn to live for His glory, we will not be preoccupied with our own abilities, but will rather work for, live in, and pursue after the kingdom of God with the spirit of excellence. Are we so foolish, as the apostle Paul contends, “having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:3). One day we will be perfect as He is perfect, but until then we must rest in His perfect grace.

Excerpt from The Overcomer’s Journal. Click here for more information